Just open your mouth wide please
The mother of a donor conceived adult explains how she and her daughter have registered with UKDL and how they felt taking a DNA test. Click to learn more

� As a donor-conceived adult, I just wanted to express how much UKDL means to me. Without it, I would not have been able to make contact with others like me. The service is vital��. to enable us to explore our feelings and potentially find our siblings.' Eleanor

�My parents never told me they had used a donor to conceive me, but when I was 25 I worked out that I could not be related to the father who brought me up and they had to tell me the truth. I felt shattered and isolated. But through the register and DNA tests I have been able to meet up with my half brother, and this has given me enormous comfort.' Rachel

�The work of UKDL has changed � for the better � the whole course of my life�.. I have gained the grounded identity that I craved�..I also consider it vital that this function should not be subsumed impersonally within a larger organization whose culture may be incompatible with the values necessary to run the register effectively�� it is fitting that UKDL staff have appropriate backgrounds in adoption etc and are therefore well placed to develop a rounded understanding of the psychological and relational complexities of assisted reproduction families.' Louise

��. In the bad old days before UKDL was set up, we did it ourselves�.. it was all very much hit and miss, not to mention stressful. Awaiting results with no support to deal with the outcomes or the resulting turmoil made this an extremely difficult time as there was no one really to talk to about the profound issues of identity; friends would more often than not fail to understand the emotional ramifications of not knowing who one's father is. The inevitable disappointments were hard to deal with as there was no formal procedures or person experienced in dealing with adoptees to talk to. (She went on to find the identity of her donor and some siblings�) � I was then able to meet with a counsellor experienced in working with adoptees; I had the opportunity to discuss many of the issues that I had kept to myself before. It was invaluable��.. Finding out the identity of my biological father was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I felt complete for the first time since I had learned about the circumstances of my conception at the age of 12. To meet my half siblings has been a joy, though quite challenging as well. The lead up to meeting� can be quite nerve-wracking�. UK DonorLink� has been a great support to us [half siblings] in dealing with all the ensuing emotions.' Shirley

��. I found out I was donor conceived back in 1993 and at the time tried various avenues to find out about my donor and any possible half siblings��. There was little or no information and I felt completely isolated. My sister who was also DC did not want to talk about it and neither did my mother. I was in utter despair, feeling all sorts of emotions. I felt completely abnormal having been conceived in this manner and thinking I was the only one that felt like this�.. I felt so alone and thought it was �wrong' to feel the way I did�� after a few years of searching I decided to give up but the deep loss never went away��� As soon as UKDL was launched I was the first of many to join� this transformed my life and although I have not yet been fortunate enough to find my donor or any half siblings, I have through the service received great support and advice from the staff and been put in touch with many other DCAs and donors. We are a very close community who regularly chat on the internet and arrange meetings between ourselves��. I no longer feel alone. All the thoughts and feelings I have had over the years have been normalized as I discovered others share in these feelings, it is not just me.' Bev